Grieving

NO longer pregnant.
I guess it wasnt our time yet..
Not allowed to blog about it as hubby specifically told me not to.


Grieving over our lost, but optimistic and still hopeful for the next one.
Took the whole week off last week and managed to fully rest at home.
Socks, no cold drinks, and selected food .

On a different story all together:
My dear grandmother passed away sunday morning around subuh at the hospital.

Arwah wan complained of stomach ache last thursday, so my uncle picked her up from our kampung in Tampin and brought her to my aunt's hospital in Kampung Baru.Wan was admitted and doctors were doing all sorts of examination on her to try and figure out whats causing the pain.

Mom and Dad managed to visit wan at the hospital on saturday morning.From what my mom described, Wan's condition was serious.That saturday night my dad wanted to stay with wan at the hospital to give my aunt who has been staying with wan at the hospital from thursday a break. Dad left at around 8pm, my mom did ask me and my brother if we wanted to visit wan that night or the following day.I insisted on going that night. So we went..Wan was very frail and weak..but she was talking..my brother massaged her head..put damped towel on her forehead and we tried to get her to drink. which we managed to..after spending about an hour there,We left at around 10.30pm..

6 am, dad called the house.. i immediately woke up and heard mom's conversation..Wan's not breathing...we got up and rushed to the hospital.. but about 20 min's later, dad called mom again to tell us that wan passed away..
i cried in the car.thank god boy came back the night before so he was with us .he actually wanted to visit wan that sunday as he didnt make it in time to subang when we left for the hospital that saturday night.i cant believe i just saw her that night.. i cant believe that night was the last time i held her hand and kissed her..My brother and i were the last cucu to see her alive, and dad got to be with her when she passed.

The most heartbreaking part that morning was when my atok arrived to the hospital..He cried upon looking at arwah Wan. he was saying sayang kenapa tinggalkan abang..and that he forgave her for everything and he asked for forgiveness...My atok has always been very dependent on wan.wan has always been the stronger one.it was soo sad.. a husband losing his wife..atok is just so heartbroken.

Jenazah arwah wan di mandikan at the kampung baru mosque opposite the hospital and was also disembahyang kan . after that, jenazah arwah wan was taken back to Tampin.All of us packed our stuffs and went back to Tampin..After all that came to my kampung house to give their last respects to arwah Wan. once again her jenazah was brought to the kampung's mosque for prayers.After that jenazah arwah wan dikebumikan at the kampungs tanah perkuburan after zohor..

Atok broke down a few times through out that day.We all helped console him and just giving him assurance that he will be alright, and that we are here for him..From what i heard atok will no longer be living permanently in our kampung house.He will be staying with all of us from time to time..i pray that atok will be strong and still has the will to continue on. Boy and i were touched by how loving and caring atok and wan were towards each other..
i hope my marriage will be like theirs..amin.